I posted that last update – the review of 2018, mainly because, no matter how embarrassing some of that baloney is, it throws some interest new light on what’s happened since or rather what was (and is) going on in the background on the filmmaking side and I thought it would be good for me to do a catch up on my creative goals.
Also, this is not an attack. This is a journal of my creative endeavours and I am just needing to explain what is going on and why it has happened. Please do not hold any ill will here. We’re all human, and all fallible and I for one and far from perfect.
And this is a cursed post. I’ve tried around 20 times to get this damn blog to post this text…
[Originally posted on 15th July 2017 – another old post I’ve tried to republish]
DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE
DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE (aka NO TE OLVIDES DE RESPIRAR) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6207538/?) – a film I co-wrote with Darwin Reina, is being shot right now in Barcelona, and I’m not there. It’s a weird feeling. On the one hand, I am super stoked that the film is going ahead – after a lengthy but much needed pre-production period. On the other, I’m feeling a bit disconnected from it – a social media lurker, merely peering in through the lens of posts on Facebook and Instagram and checking up on progress. It’s strange… so why am I not there?
Wow. Filmmaking is tiring. You forget this, when you don’t do it for years. I mean real filmmaking, which involves putting a full production together, and building a crew up from the ground, because you’re living somewhere where you don’t know anyone in the industry and have to start from scratch. And you are trying to wear so many hats and perform so many different tasks, and all while doing a day job with urgent aggressive deadline requirements. Kudos to anyone who does this and doesn’t whinge about it and takes it on the chin and gets it done!
Anyway, this time since the last update has been fraught. It’s been a real rollercoaster of ups and downs. Where one minute we have ‘this’ and then we lose ‘that’. Where ‘that’ is back again and ‘this’ is now missing. The twists and turns of real life filmmaking are more exhausting than the plots I can contrive. But that is what pre-production is like…. One minute I want to do a feature film already and the next minute I never want to pick up a camera or plan a shoot, or break the bad news to an unsuccessful auditioning actor again….
Feeling enthusiastic about the coming year? I am. Very much so.
I don’t mean to sound smug, but unlike the previous [bleak] most recent years 2014 was a productive year for me. I stuck to my goals and completed all but 2 of them; including relocating to Sweden to continue to pursue my happiness, giving up a perfectly good job, renting my house out and throwing myself into the unemployment pool, setting up my own company and then luckily finding a new job – with my first happy clients. All so that I could be where I felt I needed to be, do what I felt I needed to do with my life and ultimately, because my life felt like a trap. It felt stagnant and I felt like I was doing nothing with it; at least nothing that I wanted to be doing.
Some of the creative things I was proud of:
I made more films earlier in the year – not for public consumption. Merely for fun and to get back into making films. We even had a club going at work, where we each made a ‘Ten Second Film’ a week; purely to prove to each other that creativity was possible for anyone and there was a way to tell a story with a variety of methods and everyone came to the same story theme from a completely different perspective and often using very different techniques and tools. Want to know more about how this works?
I wrote a novel as part of Nanowrimo 2014. Yes it still needs to be rewritten, but it’s down – out of my head and on the page.
I joined two writing groups (one for writing and one for critique) – in order to overcome my shyness and seek out others, to help look at my work objectively and constructively and also to see if I could be of assistance to others. I made some new friends in a new country and I’m sure that it will be a great help in 2015.
I took a few online courses to help learn my craft. And I read every article that seemed relevant to what I was trying to achieve – in order to learn more.
I also sought out more books on my craft. And I downloaded any free screenplay that I could get my hands on – I suspect that 2015 will be very much about reading more of those scripts and learning form the best.
I wrote something almost every day – even if it was my journal or some short #VSS tales in Twitter; something I was never good at before.
I used meditation to help fight my way out of creative blocks / writing block.
I’m currently setting my goals for 2015 and I’m looking forward to using more of what this great online community / the interwebz has to offer – attend more courses, develop and refine my writing skills and seek more professional critical feedback and to also help others, where I can, to achieve some of their goals. This year was a rehearsal, to see if I could still muster the gumption to take this seriously and invest serious amounts of time and energy. I did it. But I can give more. Much more.
More on my goals in the new year. I tend to like to let them simmer for a bit to see which ones fight to the surface more.
But if I may be so bold, can I suggest that we all help each other to get a step further up the path to creative freedom and feel the buzz of a little more success!
Have a great 2015 all!! Don’t fight the good fight alone! Let me know if I can help in any way in 2015.