This morning, after a pitiful night’s rest, I was surprised when I not only had an interesting idea for a story but I also felt compelled to capture it in more than just my usual note form. I set myself a goal of writing only 750 words, no more no less. None of my usual ‘Novelletes’ 10,000 word max epics. I did it and I am quite proud of the piece, even if anyone I told about it seemed horrified by the idea of me penning a tale about a vampiric pecker and then wasting more time agonising over many morally questionable puntastic title choices than the actual story writing. I settled for SO LONG SCHLONG… but now I am torn between that and THE WORM THAT TURNED…. but the most important thing is that I wrote a proper piece of Flash fiction and that I also used a female narrator – as I am rather conscious and ashamed of my habitual use of male main characters – and got to work the occupation of ‘fluffer’ into a story too; a pitiful long term goal of mine. ;0)

It was only afterwards when I was wondering what subliminally inspired it?

Was it the song EVIL DICK by Body Count? Was it a reaction to adverts for the new film TEETH (about a lady garden that bites)? or a long delayed remembrance of a film [that I have never actually seen] called KILLER CONDOM?

Who knows? I am as much confused about the inner workings of my own brain as I am about the workings of the female mind….

I do know that my mind is unusually smutty and my humour is definitely of an adolescent variety – as evidenced by my loud guffawing over the first three episodes of CALIFORNICATION series 2 – where I laughed so loud that I woke up, when losing it over Charlie Runkle’s Masturbation video montage scene in Episode 2. The rock star fist-in-the-air pose was just too funny!

Let’s hope it gets published so I can post it here for you guys to enjoy.